| A Tribute to the ex |
[04 Oct 2006|06:04pm] |
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Many years have gone by and in the end all I can hope is nothing but happiness for you. I know that I wasn't always around when you needed me most, but in the end you came out an even better and stronger person because you learned your lesson the hard way. When we were together I never thought that I would be able to sit here and see a picture of you and your current love and feel happy for you... but I can. Even if I am not at your side now and never will be, know that you had my heart. Now that we're no longer in love it doesn't seem like much, but the fact that you had my heart with you is a memory so great that not even time can erase. I pray that you still don't have a grudge against me. I only sought to do what was best for the both of us. Space. Because of that you are happier than you've ever been and I hope that you give me half of the credit for it. Remember that your heart is more powerful than you know. It has lead you to who I'm sure is an amazing woman. And like your mind, your heart takes the time to rationalize. With that note in mind, you have done well, and I hope that you continue to. When the roads become steeper on the way, and they will, remember how much you have overcome, and I will remember that how much I have is because of you. Thank you.
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[14 Mar 2006|09:38pm] |
The Game I Played
In the game of regret
We played Tag
You were it
The wheel that intertwines
The start
The finish
Together form an eight
First step
Player one consumed by heartbreak
Player two innocent, naïve
A new board, bare to defeat
I rolled the dice
Each dice represented a contrasting number
One of 2
The other of 3
The even pursuit
The odds of the outcome
Player two rolls even
Seldom odd
Always eager to create smiles
Constantly filled with tears
With by-chance-wins
Player two played fare
I played to cheat
Did I really Win?
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[04 Jan 2006|07:53pm] |
In your eyes I see the way I want to live
The person I’m meant to be is with you
And through I may hesitate to think further
Don’t think I don’t dream the same as you
Every emotion I’m meant to feel is with you
And even if I cry I know you’re there
You see the best in me
What I could never see
You make me speechless
And without you I’m not me
I want to be in love with you
I know we will be
I want to be everything you need
Anything just so you’ll stay
And never feel the need to leave
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[02 Jan 2006|02:42am] |
How you know to let go
When the memories still hurt you
When his face still pierces your heart
When you know what you have will fight for you
And the past never helped to make you smile
Thats when you know you can let go
When you can't remember a night then that you didn't go to sleep crying
But you now go to sleep with butterflies and confidence in your heart
When nothing seemed to go right, but now everything perfect in its place
When you can't help, but look at whats infront of you and be proud
Thats when you know you can let go
When the romantic scenes aren't just in movies
When you feel protected at all times
When you not only find confidence in what you have
But who you are
When you accomplished more now than you could with a baggage of heartache
When you learn to not only be happy with someone else
But with yourself is when you know you can let go
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| Considerate |
[28 Dec 2005|01:46am] |
Don't come to me with your accusations on the friend I was
I went through hell and back for you
Broke all of the rules
Gave you all the love my heart could feel
To only feel all the pain I've ever felt
Now you're pointing the finger at me
I was there when no one else was
It wasn't out of love but of friendship too
And now I tried to be there for you
But I want to be happy too
I was there for the pain
The laughter
And the abuse
But now I grew up
I learned that as much as Im there for you
I've realized I'm important too
I am your friend
Always will be
Never changed
Never wanted you to go through pain
But I want you to be happy for me
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| Threw With You |
[20 Dec 2005|12:07am] |
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music |
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Giving it all away- Ashlee Simpson |
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Yea I'm selfish
And I'm needy
But I'm not going to change
If you don't like it
then stop loving me because I'm not the same
I will never be the same
You've made me this pale canvas
Shaded only in black and white
When she's not around is when you start calling again
Stop trying to use me
I'm tired of the abuse
You had your chance but you threw it away
and here you are with the torture and pain
All the hurtful memories I put away
I've been there for you as much as I can
But you're selfish and needy too
And I've helped all I can for now
You're just bringing back the pain
I didn't want him to interfere but what choice do you give us
I have to move on and remember that I'm threw with you
The memory is more vivid than you can try to erase
Yea and what if I was persistant?
You never gave me the time of day
Now you live with the blame
Because I never want to feel the way I did in those days
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| Rewrite |
[27 Nov 2005|11:48pm] |
Keep Smiling [27 Nov 2005|11:40pm]
So here we are
With nothing but the space you've made
Neither of us in dier pain
But I know things still aren't the same
I messed up I couldn't lie to you
I don't want you back
I just want to talk to you
We've shared so much
Cried too much
But laughed a lot
Created memories to cherish
Tried to heal one another
suddenly without knowing it...
We did
The space built stregnth
Courage
The will to make things better than we could together
Though I know this is what the price is for an inconsiderate heart
I'm happy knowing without me you can still smile
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| Keep Smiling |
[27 Nov 2005|11:40pm] |
So here we are
With nothing but the space you've made
Neither of us in dier pain
But I know things still aren't the same
I messed up I couldn't lie to you
I don't want you back
I just want to talk to you
We've shared so much
Cried too much
But laughed a lot
Created memories the cherish
Tried to heal one another
suddenly without knowing it...
We did
The space built stregnth
Counrage
The will to make things better than we could together
Though I know this is what the price is for an inconsiderate heart
I'm happy knowing without me you can still smile
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| Healed |
[13 Nov 2005|02:11pm] |
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music |
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Shine on- Ryan Cabrera |
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I'm sorry I messed up
Made you hurt the way you do
Though I was honest
I was true
I should've known
I was once just like you
Weak to the way we feel
Taking the risk of a broken heart due to prayers of hope
Then when our hope is damned and ruined
We know we were a fool
So I don't blame you for the solitude
The attempt to erase the memories
Its the process to a healed heart
A process I belive we both need
I needed to grow and forget the pain
You needed to move on and know the worth of your heart
In the end I wish the best that the world can guarantee a man
And with the hope I have left tnat you accept my apologize
Know how guilty I feel to know I shot a star
But you do shine bright
Brighter than I ever could
I pray that we'll meet again with our stars lighting our way
Only then we'll know that we've both been healed
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[17 Oct 2005|04:04pm] |
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music |
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Sucker Love- Placebo |
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I've fallen
Damned and bruised my soul
Took the crash for this love
I know where your heart is
But its not with me
I'm sorry I fell for the line
I thought it would be me
I was fooling myself
What we had was a lie
Though you don't belive my theories
You have broken through every line
Gave up and gave in to something new
I won't bother to intrude
We hold on for what we've known
The comfort having one another there
But I'm better off with the pain and fake smiles
Your better with a love I can't deny you feel is not me
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| Glass Heart |
[16 Oct 2005|10:38pm] |
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music |
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Colorblind- The Counting Crows |
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I am glass, reflecting everything you want
But I'm empty won't you fill me up
Stop hiding and denying what you feel because I'm hurting too
My face is only the mask to my emotions
Can't you see I'm crying
I'm dieing without you
A laugh is a scream
So won't you fill me up
Make me whole again
I've been chipping for miles
scratching your bare feet so you can feel who I really am
I'm not what you see
The still frame is me acting a scene
A fake scenario I'd like to believe is real
But you know my monologue has flaws
I forget the lines
where do I begin?
When does your part come in?
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[06 Oct 2005|11:24pm] |
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music |
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Beautiful Disaster- Kelly Clarkson |
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Im the scarce reality of love
The reality that you refused to believe
What you once deserved, but no longer can hold
So I was real, natural, bare, stripped of all the lies that contained me
Then I cried till there were no tears left
The millions of flaws I believed scard me of the truth that I'm not the mistake
I believed for so long it was me
The imperfection of something that had to be so beautiful
Something that had to be real, honest, and pure
The reality of love shook me
Woke me up from this hopeless dream
The still frame paused in my mind forever
Heartbroken, dispared I shut you out
Cut the rope that restrained my reach
The reflection of what used to be stares back at me
I hesitate to find purposes to acknowledge your existance
But I promise I'm trying
I'm praying for this pain to pass to gain back a friendship thats been lost
So I can say I loved, but I can love again
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[30 Sep 2005|09:36pm] |
We laugh to make a perfect world
To cover the pain
To avoid whats real
Trying to forget the unbarable
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| Good-bye Kiss |
[30 Sep 2005|09:32pm] |
Love is bigger than us
Love is bigger than you
Love is more than you can offer or stand
It tugs at your heart
Crying at your feet
Love is better than you'll ever know
Love once blessed you and embraced you
until your ungrateful heart threw it out
Love no longer pitries you
No longer sympathizes with you
Love will have nothing to do with you
And neither will I
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[30 Sep 2005|06:18pm] |
I'd do it again
Fall in love
To be pulled back out
Just to say I felt
I felt alive
I felt free
I felt how breathing is really sapposed to be
I fell
I cried
I died
But I lived because of love
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[30 Sep 2005|06:16pm] |
There we layed
Face to Face
Together on your bed
I placed my hand over your eyes and mind
I looked at you
And you stared right into me
I winked with my right eye
And you smiled as if you hadn't in years
It was a smile to love
It was a smile to have
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| Change For Me |
[30 Sep 2005|06:11pm] |
I want to know every thought running through your head
Please tell me you love me more than just a friend
I want to forget the meaning of it all
The reason why we can't be together
Show me love
That I'm the woman of your dreams
I'm praying and hoping that no one else catches your eye
Keep me sane and happy
I know you can change
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| A Rose In Another Name |
[30 Sep 2005|06:07pm] |
Could you smell my petals and know the curves of my stem?
What would you critisizw?
Am I perfect to the last breath?
Or do I fie wiht a moments sunlight?
Am I in fact the perfect addition to your flower bed?
Suppose another bud gloomed at your soil
Would you leave my petals to dust?
Or would you endure my lasting fragrance?
Show me to the other gardeners in glorious pride.
If not cherished this rose is soon to die.
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[30 Sep 2005|06:04pm] |
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Well I haven't written in a long time so I thought that it would be kool if I wrote down all of my poetry here. So from now on its going to be my poetry page.
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[11 Jul 2005|10:01pm] |
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My whole life I was always left behind. People always saying you're too young to understand, or you're just too young period. Even now thats still a battle I am always fighting. Not old enough to go to clubs, or even to get the job that I want.I wish that to life age really was nothing but a number, but it never will be. Crying and constantly fusing about it won't make a difference, but maybe all of it will make me realize something. Being older isn't really all that its cracked up to be. Yea maybe all of my older friends get to go to all the good clubs and have the jobs, but in the end they have to pay bills, wake up and take vacation days for work and me being young or atleast having the privilidges I do, I don't have to work or pay bills. Its gives me more time to be a kid and concentrate on me.Though it bothers me now, my time will come to do all of those things.
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